How to be Kind to Yourself
Being kind to yourself can sometimes feel like the hardest thing to do, especially when your life has been affected by cancer.
Cancer can affect your very sense of who you are. You may feel exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious or disconnected. We want you to know that you matter, and you deserve kindness – from others and from yourself.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It’s an investment in your wellbeing, your resilience and your ability to cope with what you’re facing.
Start small
If being kind to yourself doesn’t come naturally, start with something really small.
Do anything that feels like it’s just for you:
- Eat your favourite sweet
- Sit down and enjoy your coffee rather than rushing
- Take 30 seconds to watch the birds
- Buy yourself some flowers
- Ask yourself what you’d like to do, not what you think you should do
Little moments of kindness add up.
Speak to yourself with kindness
Many of us say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else.
Using a mantra, a short, positive phrase you repeat to yourself to build confidence and self-worth, can be a great way to start talking to yourself kindly.
You could try:
- I am amazing.
- I’ve got this.
- I am strong and capable.
- I love myself.
- What a star I am!
If you’re not sure where to start, try combining two:
“I’ve got this. I am amazing.”
Use it to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.
Be kind to your body
Cancer can change how you feel about your body. It’s normal to feel that your body has let you down.
Give yourself time to adapt. Your body is still remarkable.
Being kind to your body doesn’t mean loving every part of it. It means appreciating it and taking care of it.
You might try:
- Reflecting on how you view your body and where those beliefs come from
- Asking yourself who gets to decide what an “ideal” body looks like
- Noticing three things you appreciate about your body, even small things.
Relaxation through aromatherapy
Aromatherapy can be a gentle way to support both body and mind. Roman chamomile oil is known for its calming properties and may help ease anxiety, tension and sleeplessness. Adding a few drops to a bath, lighting a scented candle or using a room spray can help create a space where you can slow down and relax.
Nourish yourself
Giving your body the right fuel is another way to show yourself kindness. Whether you’re living with cancer or supporting someone who is, eating well can help maintain strength, support recovery and boost overall wellbeing.
A healthy approach to food doesn’t mean restriction or perfection:
- No Foods Are Off Limits – Enjoy what you love in moderation. Balance is key, and all foods can have a place in a healthy diet.
- Understand Emotional Eating – Will food truly soothe how you feel? Finding other ways to care for yourself can be a kinder approach.
- Enjoy Cooking from Scratch – Trying new, healthy recipes can be fun.
- Eat Well for Life – No diets! Instead, aim for long-term, sustainable eating habits that nourish and support you.
Small changes really do make a difference:
- Drink more water
- Include good sources of protein (beans and nuts count too)
- Add fibre for gut health
- Eat a variety of colours in fruit and vegetables
- Choose healthy fats like olive oil, avocados and oily fish
If you’d like more guidance, we run regular nutrition sessions at the Centre offering advice that is realistic, understandable and evidence-based.
Give yourself a break
Life can be busy, and when you’re facing cancer, it’s more important than ever to pause and take time for yourself.
You could try:
- Aromatherapy with calming scents like marjoram
- Breathing exercises to release tension
- Time in nature, whether walking or simply sitting outside
- Mindful moments such as yoga, meditation or journaling
However you choose to rest, remember you deserve it.
Gentle movement
Gentle exercise can be really beneficial after a cancer diagnosis – it doesn’t have to be intense. A short walk, stretching or yoga can make a difference.
Movement can:
- Help reduce fatigue
- Ease nausea and stimulate appetite
- Improve sleep
- Support mood and emotional wellbeing
Care givers can benefit from gentle exercise too. Supporting someone else can be physically and emotionally exhausting, even a few minutes of movement can help relieve stress.
Always listen to your body, rest when you need to, and check with your doctor if you’re unsure what’s right for you.
Connect with others
Being kind to yourself can also mean allowing yourself to connect with other people. Cancer can be a lonely journey, some of our clients worry about burdening loved ones with their true feelings.
We offer welcoming, informal groups where you can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable. Our clients are going through challenging times, but we find that they share much mutual support, friendship and laughter.
From walking groups and gentle exercise to creative activities and support groups for patients and care givers, we have lots of ways for you to connect.
Set gentle goals
Goals don’t have to be demanding or overwhelming. A kind goal might be:
- Taking things one day at a time
- Listening to your energy levels
- Doing a little more of what supports your wellbeing
- Letting go of what no longer feels helpful
Some days, just getting through is enough.
Care givers: you matter too
Around 40% of the people we support are care givers. If you’re caring for someone with cancer – you matter too.
Looking after yourself helps you care for your loved one. Accept help where you can, take breaks, share how you’re feeling, and allow yourself moments of rest and kindness.
We’re here for you
A great way to show yourself some kindness is to get in touch with us. Wherever you are in your cancer journey, we are here to support you; mind, body and spirit.
Be kind to yourself. Do what you can, when you can.